Pollution
Terrorism
Nuclear Proliferation
Global Warming
Info-mericials on TV...
It's all so hopeless.
Let's just not get excited about it anymore.
I believe there is a BETTER Way.
Let's just sit back, relax, and do nothing. When elected, as your Congressman, I promise never again to tell you about the horrible things that are going on. I'll keep you in the dark about all this ugly business, and clamp down on that liberal, depressing, press. All those whiny religous broadcasters will be taken off the air, and replaced with new versions of the Playboy Channel and the Home Shopping Channel.
After all, if everything's going to Hell, who wants to know about it? It's all too messy to fix. If we're on a slippery slope to oblivion, let's at least enjoy the ride, right? We'll legalize pot, subsidize alcohol (not for fuel, silly: for DRINKING, as God intended it to be used), and replace those irritating info-mericials -- with re-runs of "I Love Lucy," which are a little bit funnier, and far more educational.
Let's vote for a Future we can all ignore -- together.
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