Why Me?
Why Now?
Why Not?
It's not like anyone's gonna KNOW you voted for me, right? Gotta LOVE those secret ballots!
Besides, it's time for a change:
-
My opponent has been there long enough. He's boring. We need variety. Variety is the spice of life, right?
-
I look better on TV than my opponent. Congressmen have to spend a lot of time on TV. You don't want our district to be represented by somebody who constantly wears ties that clash with his suit, do you?
-
I'm unemployed. Consider a vote for me as a vote for full employment. Besides. I'm not the kind of guy you want hanging around the streets. Send me to Washington, where my kind BELONGS.
It's time for a BETTER way.
-
With a lifetime of successfully dodging bill collectors, I know how to deal with the national debt.
-
With a lifetime of experience staying one step ahead of the cops, I know exactly what laws are useless.
-
With absolutely no conscience at all, I can be counted on to ruthlessly exploit the rest of the nation for the benefit of my own home district.
Though I'm no politician, I'm as ornery as one. I have deep roots in the Kansas soil (some say I'm lower than dirt), and a clear vision of what Kansas -- and America -- can be once more (if we can get away with it).
It's time to bring the wisdom, values and priorities of real Kansas scoundrels back to Congress.
The best thing about American government is that WE, THE PEOPLE, have the power to wreak havoc with it. Your contributions, and your volunteering, and ESPECIALLY your VOTE, make this change possible.
I'm here, and available, and I want to represent YOU. Together, let's make America's future strong, safe and secure -- and honorable again.
TO RETURN TO THE TOP, AND THE MENUS
CLICK HERE.
