YOUR Power --
-- The Power that Really Controls the Future
The best thing about American government is that WE, THE PEOPLE, have the power to change it. Your contributions, and your volunteering, and ESPECIALLY your VOTE, make this change possible.
YOUR Power:
VOLUNTEERING
Your VOLUNTEERING to help the campaign will help us to spread the message that there is a BETTER way, and that TODAY is the day to begin that change.
We need kids to go around ripping up our opponent's yard signs. We need big, strong men (preferably with criminal backgrounds) to intimdate voters at the polls. We need little old ladies to lie down in the driveway behind our opponent's car so he can't get out of his driveway without looking like a really bad man.
We need YOU.
Call us at:
555-666
YOUR Power:
CONTRIBUTING
Your CONTRIBUTION to the campaign will also help us to spread the message that there is a BETTER way, and that change is finally HERE. We need
CHECKS or CASH
(checks only if over $50)
for advertising, office, phone and website expenses, transportation and support services.
More than that, we need LARGE amounts of cash (in un-marked, un-traceable bills), in plain brown envelopes, stuck under the door. (For those of you who are thoughtful enough to deliver envelopes too stuffed to fit under the door, we've also carved a large mail slot in the door.)
Don't ask us what it's for. Just trust us.
Mail to:
Richard Harris for Congress
Sedgwick County Jail
Cell Block 29, Cell 13
Wichita, KS
67202
YOUR Power:
VOTING
Your VOTE for ME will make the change happen. We need you to SHOW UP on Election Day, at your local precinct voting place (preferably armed, so our thugs will know not to mess with you), and cast the vote that changes the Future.
We need you to share our message of hopelessness with others, and encourage and help them to get to the polling place to vote, on Election Day, so we can all change America, together!
I'm Richard Harris, and I want to represent YOU. Together, let's make America's future completely pointless -- and a NON-issue once again. Let's bring back the only peace that really matters: Peace of Mind.
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